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Done In!

February 26th, 2013 at 07:53 am

I've worked our March Budget over about 12 different times this week trying to make the money fit what I want to accomplish. I think at this point I've about guesstimated everything the best I can and now I just have to make the lifestyle fit the numbers. That's the hard part.

I upped our auto fuel budget by $150 to cover my extra trips to see my Mom. That should be about 3 trips if I use my Husband's car instead of my gas guzzler and 2 trips if I use the SUV once. I offset that with decreasing savings to our tuition savings account because I have enough saved in there to pay for everybody's schooling through the end of 2013 and a good chunk of 2014.

I'd like to thank everybody for their kind support concerning the situation with my Mom. Senior social services in her area does not have the budget to assist. They classify her case as "self-neglect" which means they do nothing but put her name on a list of people they'd like to help if they ever get funding. If I or another family member were neglecting or abusing her they'd step in but she is allowed to neglect herself until the cows come home. I did get about a half-hour phone conversation with a Social Worker who recommended that I just continue on and try to be patient with her. My brother-in-law did go over to Mom's house last week wanting to help but Mom refused to let him into the house. Since I'm pretty much the only one who can get in there right now, I'm pretty much the one who gets to clean. Lucky me. LOL

At this point the work just continues. I have the kitchen completely clear and all the food locked up in airtight containers. Convincing Mom to keep the food in the airtight containers remains a problem but there have been signs in the house that she is making a small effort to clean things up. Right now, budget wise, the expense mostly consists of bleach, windex, and garbage bags which thankfully are pretty cheap. I've replaced her computer and I'm holding off on other big purchases in her house while we just clean. The physical and emotional toll of it is the worst part.

I hope to have the house clear enough that I can bring my boys in around May (after their finals) and they can help me move furniture and shampoo carpets. I haven't brought that idea up to Mom yet, I've found that overwhelming her with too many plans at once just makes her shut-down. Last week we agreed the kitchen needed to be cleaned up and now we're moving on to the bathroom.

With the final numbers in, because I don't expect to spend anything over the next couple of days, we finished February $28.10 under budget in groceries, gas, supplies and other similar categories and managed to save decent amount in our emergency savings. Plus, I expect to receive a $25 paypal payment from Swagbucks soon.

Hey, I'll take it!

2 Responses to “Done In!”

  1. snafu Says:

    {{{{Hugs}}}} I find your mom and her choices to be incredibly sad. Did she actually go to the doctor and get treated for depression? If she fails to get treatment needed to change behavior your effort and expense will be over-run by neglect. I too encourage you to convince mom of the need to have you hold power of attorney when she is no longer interested/able to manage her affairs. Thinking long term, with limited income, what 'assisted living' residence would mom be eligible for in your area?

    When dad died and mom lost her sight, we were able to arrange for an old friend to move in, share the space and take care of daily tasks, meals and their social life . To give Fanny a break we had mom visit each of us for two weeks at time, spread through the year mostly focused on holidays like Christmas, Easter, August/Labor Day. Later we fervently wished we'd been smart enough to slowly sell, re-gift, donate or trash stuff through those years. When mom passed away we were overwhelmed with everything.

    I've found diluted auto windshield washer fluid to be a good moderate de-greasser product. If things are really awful, I've used ammonia but fumes require open windows and hands need rubber gloves

  2. LuckyRobin Says:

    I'm wondering if maybe someone in your family can invite her to stay with them for a week "to visit" and then everyone else can descend on the house and make serious inroads while she is away? Then it wouldn't be so overwhelming for you. I still remember cleaning out my grandmother's house for a week with my cousin, aunt, and Mom. It made it go so much faster to have more people and also people to talk and sing with while getting the job done.

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